Look, it isn't that I don't believe in love. I think it exists out there. But, and I say this without hesitation, there is no fucking way Adriana Lima fell in love and gave birth to HIS child. None.
Adriana Lima and husband, NBA star Mark Jaric, welcome baby girl
NBA Star? The fuck. C'mon NY Daily News you're just trying to piss me off now. He is the star of shit.
Marko's PPG season stats:
2002-2003: 7.4
2003-2004: 8.5
2004-2005: 9.9
2005-2006: 7.8
2006-2007: 5.3
2007-2008: 8.3
2008-2009: 2.6
Ok I admit he's better at basketball than me. And scoring isn't everything in the NBA. Ben Wallace, John Stockton and Dennis Rodman were all stars who weren't huge scorers. But he is not a star. All of his numbers suck. He blows at playing professional basketball. With the exception of this guy he is the luckiest person walking on earth today. I repeat, he is not an NBA star. If playing in the NBA makes you a star then I'm a professional stunt man because I crashed my car last Thursday.
Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima and her husband, NBA star Marko Jaric, welcomed a daughter on Sunday, People.com reports.
First sentence of the article basically repeated the headline. Strong start. Also, stop calling Marko Jaric a star.
"Adriana and Marko are thrilled to announce they had a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in New York City," a rep for Lima confirms. "Mother, father and baby are all doing well."
I pray to the heavens Valentina looks more like mom than dad.
And why shouldn't father be doing well? He's an NBA star. If he can handle NBA stardom then he can surly handle watching his hot wife pop out a child. Give me a break. I fucking hate you, NY Daily News.
Lima and the Memphis Grizzlies star
Stop, stop, stop, stop please for the love of all that is sacred in this crazy fucking universe, stop calling him a star.
first met in 2006 and became engaged two years later on the model's 27th birthday. The couple eloped on Valentine's Day earlier this year and wed in a small ceremony in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
Jackson Hole, Wyoming - the hotbed of marriage. When I get married to Inna I want it to be in Jackson Hole and then after I can visit Inna's Hole.
Sorry, I know. I couldn't help myself.
The 28-year-old model learned she was expecting soon after her honeymoon.
Ugh. They had sex. I was hoping for a Virgin Mary birth.
The couple reportedly waited to find out the sex of the baby, leaving Lima to decorate the nursery in an all-white color scheme.
You let her decorate while she was pregnant? Prick. She could have fallen and hurt the child. Inconsiderate bastard. Fuck you, Marko.
"Even in my wildest days I knew that I wanted to be the ultimate family man," Jaric, 31, said at the time. "We're ready to settle down."
Geez you are not only shitty at basketball but you suck when it comes to the English language too. Read that first sentence again. Does that make any Goddamn sense? Even in your wildest dreams you knew you wanted to be the ultimate family man? What? I'm not even being nitpicky right now, that is very confusing. You are worthless. I hate you.
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