Friday, July 30, 2010

Going to the dentist today. Time to get rowdy

I have to psych myself up since going to the dentist is like pulling teeth for me. Haha, get it? Damn straight you do.



Novocain!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Taylor Swift isn't a great singer


"I did not win these for being a great vocalist.*"

I was just listening to Taylor and I wasn't impressed. I understand that she's popular because 17 year old girls can relate to her songs about heartache and burning shit in anger and her menstrual cycle and stuff like that, but I assumed I'd be blown away by her voice. I've heard some of her songs before but today was the first time I really listened to them and I walked away disappointed. Sad day for humanity.

* Probably not said by Taylor Swift

Monday, July 12, 2010

I felt like Xabi Alonso watching Spain win the World Cup


If the whole soccer thing doesn't work out for Nigel De Jong, there's always kung fu.

That was an awful game to watch. Just awful.

Dank u zeer, Total Pro Sports

Friday, July 2, 2010

Happy Birthday Ozzie Canseco!


You turn 46 today.
(Glass breaking. Everyone in unison)
Mazel tov!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Ugh. Stop with the girls. How about another kitty?


:)

The Only Reason To Root For Paraguay - Larissa Riquelme

Maybe not the ONLY reason. I assume if you're from Paraguay of or Paraguayan descent you are pulling for a victory over Spain. No no, I mean for the average person who doesn't have a particular interest in the remaining nations still competing for the World Cup.

Larissa has been visible during the Paraguay matches and the further they progress, the more we may see of her. I'm down for that. Once again, thanks to Total Pro Sports for the fine pictures and if you want to see more of Larissa, you can check out her website. Enjoy:


Damn. She's talented.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Cute kitty cat :)

This blog needs to break up the monotony of girls and soccer so here is a cute kitty cat I found online!

Not Cool, Cristiano. Not Cool


I don't blame Cristiano for Portugal's failures. After all, a major part of sports is luck. They were drawn in the same group as Brazil and needed to beat Brazil to win the group. They didn't. That meant their first game of the knockout stage was against Spain. Playing the # 1 and # 2 ranked teams in the world in consecutive games can be difficult. If they were draw in Group A, there's a good chance they'd still be playing and would need to face Ghana to get to the semi-finals.

Portugal doesn't have the firepower of a Argentina or Spain or even his club team, Real Madrid. Much like Didier Drogba, people expect them to lead their nation. It's understandable in Cristiano's case, being the highest paid player in the world and one of the two or three best players comes with those lofty expectations.

While I've always been a proponent of keeping the media away from players immediately after a game/match, players do have a certain level of decorum they need to maintain. This World Cup, CR9 seemed kinda distant: he didn't really celebrate with his teammates following goals (well the only game they scored goals in), appeared aloof and uninterested. I'm not criticizing Cristiano for his body language. Being frustrated over your team's lack of attack can cause you to look aloof and uninterested. I'm sure Cristiano loves Portugal and wants his nation to succeed, but wanted more help up front. And yes, some of that plays into his ego of being the star, scoring and setting up goals and being the apple of the media's eye.

I did find his little post game moment in front of the camera disappointing.



I'm not entirely sure if he was spitting at the camera. I hope not. He didn't intend to hit the camera or else he would have. And athletes do need to spit on occasion. Why he didn't turn the other way could be him either making a conscious decision to spit on the ground in front of the camera operator or him not thinking. Clearly some newspapers will take his action as blatantly disrespectful. And not to minimize what happened, but clearly it isn't as bad as the two below clips. I simply really hope, being a fan of his and all, that his action was more innocent and less demonic.



Rijkaard taking some liberties with Voller's fantastic hair




Fabregas being a dick.
Why is everyone spitting on the Germans?

England May Have Lost In The World Cup, But They Have Rosie Jones

Rosie Jones makes me want to root for the Three Lions.


Damn. She's talented

Iker Casillas Does Something Funny With His Mouth

BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB
Not exactly sure what's going on here but I like it.

Nagyon köszönöm, Total Pro Sports

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Don't Feel Bad For Ashley Cole

Whatever, England lost. Not that I was rooting for them since I wasn't. I was happy Germany won. But I don't feel bad for Ashely Cole since he goes home and scores goals with this girl:


Oh shit he cheats on her too? That's kinda messed up, bro. Look at your wife. She's hot as fuck. Now I'm really glad England lost.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Oops

Rough game for Robert Green over the weekend. I know I'm late posting this but I couldn't find the pictures I wanted to mock him with until today:


"Pfh. Weak American shot. I eat shots like this for breakfast"


"Oh shit, that slipped by me"


"Holy fucking Lord that's going in"


"Um...I'm not gonna be allowed inside England anymore, am I?"

USA-England, 1-1. And the Americans dodged a bullet.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hey, you remember Goof Troop?

What a terrible cartoon. Like seriously, what a piece of shit. I know everything Disney touches turns to gold but this turned into a steamy pile of excrement. I began thinking about how much I hated that cartoon whenever it came on TV.



If anyone enjoyed Goof Troop, I feel sorry for you. There is nothing good about Goof Troop.

Berre perrapp babeduba (Yeah!)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Brian Wilson Never Went To 'Manufacturing Runs' School

Hey Brian, after failing to preserve a win for Tim Lincecum the last three times he pitched, and now holding on to a 2-1 win against the Astros, what did you say to Tim as you saw him in the postgame handshake?

"I said, 'Bro, why does it always have to be on your starts? Can you just give me a bigger lead, maybe?'"

Eh...Brian? I know it was good nature ribbing but you do know that Tim doesn't control the offense, right?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Are Call-Girls/Prostitutes Allowed to Ask for Favors?

 

This girl new her bread and butter from an early age

Damn

If you haven't followed the sex scandal currently rocking French soccer it involves the young entrepreneurial strumpet pictured above, Zahia Deha, and her engaging in sexual congress with a number of high profile players, including Franck Ribery, Sidney Govou and Karim Benzema. The potential waves this may cause France with the World Cup around the corner are large enough to drown the team. You can read about it here and here. What's most damaging is that Zahia had relations with these guys in exchange for monetary "donations" before she turned 18, which is a no no even in France.

Ribery is the most high-profile player connected with the scandal because of his working-class up bringing, senior status on the French national team and, unlike the other players involved, is married. Franck even converted to Islam to marry his wife, Wahiba. Franck is also ugly as sin and without his money would have no chance of shtooping someone like Zahia.



Once again, this is Zahia

Damn

Advantage: Zahia

There's no point rendering an opinion or my thoughts which you can find on countless other website. Instead, I'm going to do the Sunny Side thing and take other issues to ponder. The question I have, which will lead to further questions, is this:

Are call-girls/prostitutes allowed to ask for favors? Even if they aren't, nobody will tell them no so should they follow through with specific requests?

I wonder if that though ever crosses their mind . Let’s assume Zahia has a younger brother. Before we get to the hypothetical situation, what if she did have a younger brother? If she did have a younger brother, he probably has masturbated to his sister everyday. Right? I know I know…incestual and gross and most people would never do that but I’m fairly certain if my sister looked like that I might be aroused. It isn't gross, unlike this couple. I mean, look at her. That might be a situation where I’m like “look sis, we kinda have to have sex…sorry.” Actually, could you imagine being her brother? You know for a fact all of your friends jerk off to her. They probably love coming over to the family pool and seeing your sister. On top of that you hear “dude your sister is so effing hot the things I would do to her” eighteen times a day. Although I’m guessing given her profession, a 15 year old boy wouldn’t last more than two minutes before the dynamite goes boom.

But I digress. I was going somewhere before I got side tracked.

Oh yeah…favors…

So Zahia’s 16 year old brother worships Ribery or Benzema. He has their posters on his wall, play them in FIFA 10. He is so excited for the World Cup and to see his fellow Frenchmen compete for the championship. Do you think Zahia ever gets signed balls or autographs from them as gifts for friends and family? Would that be too inconspicuous? Would she ever say “hey Franck, thanks for the fuck. You gave me great anal and I loved feeling you inside of my ass while I pounded my pussy with a dildo. Oh by the way, Marcel, my brother, is a huge fan. Could you give me a few autographs? It would make his life”

Would the above situation step over professional courtesy? Would any lines be crossed?

I imagine the scene with her brother would go something like this:

[Plane trip home]
[This is translated into English but it should be read in a snooty French accent]
[Zahia see her brother and begins to speak]

Zahia: I have a gift for you
Marcel: Where were you this weekend?
Zahia: I was out with friends.
Marcel: All weekend?
Zahia: Um…sleep over.
Marcel: Why does your luggage say “Kaiserslautern” on it?
Zahia: It was my friend’s bag. She went to Kaiserslautern.
Marcel: Oh. Cause I was going to say. You don’t have a job. How can you afford a flight to Kaiserslautern? Actually, that bag looks like mom’s.
Zahia: Yeah…so anyway, check this out

[Pulls out a Franck Ribery signed futbol]
[In excitement, Marcel defecates in his pants]

Marcel: NO WAY
Zahia: So you like it?
Marcel: OMG OMG OMG my life is complete! It’s even personalized
Zahia: I’m glad
Marcel: Wait…the ball says “to Zahia’s brother Marcel. Your 18 year old sister is wonderful.” You know Ribery!?!?! Also, you just turned 17.
Zahia: I met him at Futbolcon 2010. It was this weekend. Don’t worry about the age thing.
Marcel: Ribery plays for Bayern Munich. They played FC Kaiserslautern this weekend.
Zahia: Just enjoy the ball you inquisitive ingrate.
Marcel: You mind if I masturbate to you?
Zahia: Ok, I think this ficticous scene is about to approach a very sketchy taboo place and it's going on too long and is losing it's humor so I'm going to end it...now.

What happens with this scandal, I don't care. As long as France doesn't win the World Cup.


Damn

Oh, and what the hell. Here is Zahia dancing:



Damn

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Chris Bosh is Making Himself Relevant During the Playoffs


At least you decided you're not going to stay in Toronto.


Yeah. Sure you meant that. Good recovery. Not.

There is no way you're staying. If you're staying then I am South African cleric and activist, Desmond Tutu.If you want me to vote I'll say the Indiana Pacers. Why? I don't know.

Seriously, you're asking fans to vote? You know you won't value their opinion. It's the fans. This guy was voted an All-Star this year while accumulating lofty statistics (playing in 28 out of 82 games) like averaging 13.8 points per game, the same average as Nene Hilario. You want the next ten years of your life determined by the people who made Allan Iverson an All-Star this year?

It's a nice attempt to be cute but you should put up a more realistic Twitter message like "I'm going to the city with the best whores and best night life. Fuck your opinion. You think I really want to spend a bunch of years of my life living in Utah? Keep quiet and fetch me a soda." That might be too long for a Twitter messages, but that's not the point. At least it's more believable than your veiled approach pretending the opinion of some fat guy who is sitting in his bed in Nova Scotia and alternating between sending you a twit and looking up porn of Lily Thai matters.


You can find many more fun pictures and videos of her online