This Beats The Fuck Out of Prison
I'm barely getting up from my drunken stupor of last night.
It's about 5:30 and all I have accomplished today so far:
- ate five sausages
- cleansed my palate with seven beers
- took the Browns to the Super Bowl. Twice (something Mangini will never do. We'll discuss him later)
- urinated three times
To those Penn State fans out there, I apologize for insinuating you sample on the anuses of Iowans. Blame the beer. I could go back and change it but eh...just too lazy.
Few thoughts about yesterday's games and what I've seen today before we move on -
- According to Bill Plaschke, the USC fans were booing their 27-6 win over Washington State. I get it, even the trainers at the school were five star high school All-American recruits. You expect USC to score 100 points each games as if they're the Lakers. But c'mon. Talk about a spoiled fan base. Geez. Iowa's last Rose Bowl win was 1959. Have a little perspective. I realize you aspire for National Championships but give Coach Carroll a break and let him work out the kinks of this team.
- I'm a little confused as to Andy Staples' column regarding USF's win over Florida State. This isn't Florida State circa 1995 where they were shitting out Top 5 finishes every year. In 2007 South Florida was # 2 in the polls (maybe a bit premature at the time, but they were still there six weeks into the season). Want to know the last time Florida State was ranked that high? 2000. The article goes on to talk about how that win will catapult them into the same recruiting breath as the big three and even acknowledged how USF's starting QB, B.J. Daniels, was a Tallahassee kid Florida State passed on. So USF wants to recruit the Florida State kids who just got their asses kicked over your own USF kids who did the ass kicking? Logic!!!
- I have more to say about that game, but these are just snippets folks. Give a 37 year old man with a ringing hangover a break.
- Like clockwork, the Cal Bears imploded once again this season. I'm so happy I bet $1,000 bucks against you guys.
- If I had a vote, I'd have Cincinnati in my top 5 somewhere. I think they've accomplished more up to this point than LSU and Boise State (no I didn't forget about the Oregon win). Obviously that can change. I'm not saying Cincinnati is a Top 5 team for the rest of the year, but right now, they deserve a higher ranking.
NFL
- Sorry I mushing everything together. I still don't know what ZombieLovage and SunsO'Fun want me to do with this blog.
- Tampa Bay looks terrible. Really, terrible. I guess Jeff Jagodzinski wasn't the problem after all.
- I can't help but feel real good for Detroit. Matthew Stafford made some very good throws and that city needed a little something nice. Winning a football game won't sell cars or the myriad of financial problems affecting the city but I'm sure their fans appreciate knowing their team didn't lose again.
- Brett Favre: Man possessed. What a throw. What an even better catch. Props to you as well, Greg Lewis.
- You ever hear anyone say "oh I could do better than him/them/her" regarding someone else's profession. It irks me. Here's why. Football player A drops a ball and immediately someone says "I could even make that catch" or something akin to that statement. Well, I'm guessing if you were an full back and your QB audibles and you change your assignment from a block to breaking out into the flat for a pass reception and Ray Lewis turns the corner and runs full speed at you there is a chance that you too may take your eyes off the ball, leading to a drop.
You're not a professional athlete. It takes years of training, dedication and hard work to reach a level of success in the NFL. I have a tremendous amount of respect for all the players and coaches in the NFL.
Why am I bringing this up?
Because I think I could be a better football coach than Eric Mangini. I don't know what he's doing. Does he know? Does he have a plan? There was the quarterback fiasco, he sets dogmatic rules such as fining a player the absurd amount of $1,701 for not paying for a $3 bottle of hotel water, yet has no problem ordering his rookies to take a on a 10-hour bus ride to work his football camp which is about as selfish of a move as there is. They are terrible on offense, even worse on defense and excluding Joshua Cribbs not exceptional on special teams either. They are a horrible franchise with no direction. Can the city of Cleveland perform a collective citizen's arrest on Mangini for killing the Browns?
- Book it: Peyton Manning is going to have a huge game tonight.
- I can't help but feel real good for Detroit. Matthew Stafford made some very good throws and that city needed a little something nice. Winning a football game won't sell cars or the myriad of financial problems affecting the city but I'm sure their fans appreciate knowing their team didn't lose again.
- Brett Favre: Man possessed. What a throw. What an even better catch. Props to you as well, Greg Lewis.
- You ever hear anyone say "oh I could do better than him/them/her" regarding someone else's profession. It irks me. Here's why. Football player A drops a ball and immediately someone says "I could even make that catch" or something akin to that statement. Well, I'm guessing if you were an full back and your QB audibles and you change your assignment from a block to breaking out into the flat for a pass reception and Ray Lewis turns the corner and runs full speed at you there is a chance that you too may take your eyes off the ball, leading to a drop.
You're not a professional athlete. It takes years of training, dedication and hard work to reach a level of success in the NFL. I have a tremendous amount of respect for all the players and coaches in the NFL.
Why am I bringing this up?
Because I think I could be a better football coach than Eric Mangini. I don't know what he's doing. Does he know? Does he have a plan? There was the quarterback fiasco, he sets dogmatic rules such as fining a player the absurd amount of $1,701 for not paying for a $3 bottle of hotel water, yet has no problem ordering his rookies to take a on a 10-hour bus ride to work his football camp which is about as selfish of a move as there is. They are terrible on offense, even worse on defense and excluding Joshua Cribbs not exceptional on special teams either. They are a horrible franchise with no direction. Can the city of Cleveland perform a collective citizen's arrest on Mangini for killing the Browns?
- Book it: Peyton Manning is going to have a huge game tonight.
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