Friday, February 19, 2010

Kayla Collins Makes Me Hate Life

This is Kayla Collins:


Kayla is the opposite of ugly.

So a buddy of mine thinks she's the hottest girl alive. He follows her twitter account. I think that's lame but it seems to bring him much joy.

He sent me a pic she posted of some French dessert she ate as if I'd be interested by it. I wasn't. I was bored however and began reading her posts and came across:

Just walked up to L'ATELIER &the met chef,Joel Robuchon, and now our entire dinner is free! ;) ahhh being a girl is great. Lol 

Ok, why in tarnation does the above girl need ANY freebies in life? Fucking balls my mom won't even cook me dinner for free. I am so mad I could shit an apple.

It makes perfect, logical sense though. Men will do anything to help an attractive woman. It makes them feel good knowing a beautiful woman was made happy by our deeds. Even though that man has basically no shot on God's green earth to touch her where she pees, seeing her smile and giggle and jump up and down is enough of a reward because you believe in your head there is SOME chance you have of engaging in coitus with her.

Watch a crowded room. Watch when a hot girl accidentally bumps into a guy and he turns around, sees her and apologizes for getting in her way. Then watch a fat chick do the same. When he turns around, he doesn't chuckle or laugh, he'll have a pained express and when she leaves mumble "fat ass".

Kayla walks in and says hi to a chef and she's hot and he hasn't been touched by a woman that attractive since the Reagan administration and he melts to goo and gives her free food. Mother fuck. Mother fuck.

Being a girl isn't great, Kayla. If you were 5'2 and 300 lbs with a runny nose you can bet your meal wouldn't be comped. You get it? You're fucking hot. You get shit for free. Hell I hate you and I would give you my kidney if you asked me. Why am I talking to you, it isn't like you read this shitty blog.

Oh and another thing, we have this twit:

I love meeting other young entrepreneurs, so inspiring! :) 

1 comment:

  1. Not entirely sure why but I checked out her Twitter page after reading this post to see how many twits it took for you to commit suicide. Six. You made it through six posts before drowning yourself.