Mother Slugger

Keep your head down and make sure to follow through on your swing

Sometimes you come across a story that makes even major crimes like assault appear humorous. This story happens to be once such occurrence.

CHARLEROI, Pa. – A southwestern Pennsylvania woman was charged with hitting her adult son with a Louisville Slugger after she allegedly came home drunk.

How many ounces was the bat? What was the color of the bat? Walnut? Galen? Black? C’mon AP, we need those pertinent details.

Linda Newstrom, 49, faces a preliminary hearing Feb. 25 on simple assault and other crimes in Valentine's Day incident.

“Other crimes?” What other crimes? Did she come high with her spikes while sliding home?

Charleroi police said Newstrom kicked her 21-year-old son Jeffrey out of the house then swung the bat at him as he gathered his belongings — missing on the first two swings but connecting on a third.

Good two strike hitter. The Pirates could use her.

Somebody quick! Get Scott Boras on the phone to work out a contract!

Police said Newstrom claimed her son hit her, but also acknowledged hit him with the bat, saying, "I brought him into this world and I'll take him out of this world."

Newstrom has transformed into a sand goby. That’s a pretty fucking awesome talent.

Newstrom doesn't have a listed phone and online records don't list a defense attorney.

If you need great a defense, call Ichiro. He won’t be busy until March/April.