This is Kayla Collins:
Kayla is the opposite of ugly.
So a buddy of mine thinks she's the hottest girl alive. He follows her twitter account. I think that's lame but it seems to bring him much joy.
He sent me a pic she posted of some French dessert she ate as if I'd be interested by it. I wasn't. I was bored however and began reading her posts and came across:
Just walked up to L'ATELIER &the met chef,Joel Robuchon, and now our entire dinner is free! ;) ahhh being a girl is great. Lol
Ok, why in tarnation does the above girl need ANY freebies in life? Fucking balls my mom won't even cook me dinner for free. I am so mad I could shit an apple.
It makes perfect, logical sense though. Men will do anything to help an attractive woman. It makes them feel good knowing a beautiful woman was made happy by our deeds. Even though that man has basically no shot on God's green earth to touch her where she pees, seeing her smile and giggle and jump up and down is enough of a reward because you believe in your head there is SOME chance you have of engaging in coitus with her.
Watch a crowded room. Watch when a hot girl accidentally bumps into a guy and he turns around, sees her and apologizes for getting in her way. Then watch a fat chick do the same. When he turns around, he doesn't chuckle or laugh, he'll have a pained express and when she leaves mumble "fat ass".
Kayla walks in and says hi to a chef and she's hot and he hasn't been touched by a woman that attractive since the Reagan administration and he melts to goo and gives her free food. Mother fuck. Mother fuck.
Being a girl isn't great, Kayla. If you were 5'2 and 300 lbs with a runny nose you can bet your meal wouldn't be comped. You get it? You're fucking hot. You get shit for free. Hell I hate you and I would give you my kidney if you asked me. Why am I talking to you, it isn't like you read this shitty blog.
Oh and another thing, we have this twit:
I love meeting other young entrepreneurs, so inspiring! :)
6:55 PM Feb 17th from UberTwitter
Oh, no you didn't. "Other young entrepreneurs". DONKEY PUNCH DRUNK LOVING PIECE OF MANURE LACED ASS FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! HOLY FUCKING CHRIST CAKES.
You're an "entrepreneur". Really? No, you are not. I swear to God I know nothing about you but I bet $58 argillion dollars that your story is like this. You grew up hot. You look like a "cali" girl but odds are you're from some place like Ohio or North Carolina. You tried doing the whole school/life thing but every single pickled ass bag has told you around every corner you turned that you are hot/gorgeous/perfect/stunning and "could be a model". You may have even tried modeling as a kid but after getting told how hot you are you decided to drop everything and go to California where you had to bus tables or some shit for a few months before somebody saw you and said "hey you're blonde and ridiculously hot. I know someone in Playboy". After all, everyone in LA knows somebody. You then became a model/playmate and since then any time you open your mouth a spit out an idea, everyone thinks you're brilliant. Wanna know why?
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
You are fucking hot! That's it. You can come up with some clothing or handbag line which is no different than anything else out in the world but given your looks and position, people will throw money at you and your foot is already in the door (I hate that expression, but whatever). You can invent a car that flies and even though the idea is logistically impossible everyone will tell you "OMG Kayla so brilliant! No traffic in the skies. You're such the entrepreneur!"
No no no no no no dammit all to hell no no no no no no. You are an entrepreneur because being a professional model seems lame and shallow and you need another profession to chuck out there so people believe you are talented. All of your success in the next 20 years will be strictly based on you being incredibly hot. You may know all of this but chances are you don't.
Why the fuck am I so angry about this?
Oh right, because you get free food, money to show up at clubs, get paid to basically exercise and look good and will one day create your own line of kitty collars called "Whiskers" with little beaded studs and someone will proclaim you a trendsetter and get millions of dollars for doing what amounts to nothing.
[Joe drowns himself]
Not entirely sure why but I checked out her Twitter page after reading this post to see how many twits it took for you to commit suicide. Six. You made it through six posts before drowning yourself.
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