Friday, October 9, 2009

Kanye West Needs To Visit Swami Satyananda Saraswati

Are we still talking about this 24 days later?

I don't know much about Kanye West. I know he is classified as a singer which is interesting since he doesn't really sing in many of his songs. Like this one. Or this one. Or this one. Or this one. He wears a lot of funny glasses that are considered trendy. Kanye has also demonstrated a misguided zeal in specific causes and events, which sometimes leads to his eventual controversial actions. The guy also needs to take a step back, meditate and accept that the MTV Music Awards mean absolutely fucking nothing in the grand scheme of things since, well, awards are dumb to begin with and because he's arguing the selection process with an award show that has recognized the likes of Michael Penn, Suzanne Vega and Art of Noise.

Beyonce Knowles says Kanye West's Taylor Swift-MTV Video Music Awards tantrum left her 'shocked'

I've been waiting in anticipation to hear Beyonce's response to chicken man's antics.

The inspiration behind Kanye West's bizarre tantrum at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards has finally broken her silence on the incident, claiming West acted boorishly because "he was standing up for art," but that his booze-fueled behavior embarrassed her.

He was standing up for art? I find his insinuation insulting that Taylor Swift isn't artistic. At least I hope that isn't Beyonce's interpretation of his actions. Whether Beyonce felt that or not, let's keep in mind that Beyonce has written songs titled "Suga Mama", "Naughty Girl" and "Upgrade U".

Ok, so Taylor's lyrics may not be supremely profound but she's singing about her experiences with true feelings and emotions. Many of her fans not surprisingly connect and relate to her songs. Both Beyonce and Taylor are talented at what they do. You would hope a fellow singer would respect that, but Kanye demonstrated no respect for Taylor by interrupting her speech.

In an interview with Gayle King, editor of "O: The Oprah Magazine,"

Wait, Oprah has her own magazine?

MTV.com reports that Beyonce Knowles said, "Well, I knew his intentions, and I knew he was standing up for art; and he told me before, when they said the nominees, he's like, 'You have this award.' "

Guess again, Kanye.

But Knowles was quick to point out that while she understood West's motives, his actions left her mortified.

I understand that Kayne believes her video was better. It may have been. I watch both of them before writing this post. Taylor had a very charming video. Beyonce was fun and if I could dance I would have danced to "Single Ladies". Beyonce had a great video. But again, It's the fucking MTV Video Music Awards. Holy fuck nuts, Squeeze won one of these. Are they really that prestigious?

"When they didn't call my name he was, like, completely shocked. And when he walked on the stage, I was like, 'No, no, no!' and then he spoke, and I was like, 'Oh, no, no, no!'"

When you were saying no, no, no, no, no, did he say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?

At the video awards show, held at Radio City Music Hall, West leaped on stage after country star Taylor Swift was presented the award for Best Female Video to protest what he perceived as an slight to Beyonce.

Do you want to know a real slight? In 1984 The Cars "You Might Think" beat out Michael Jackson's "Thriller" for Video of the Year. I mean "Thriller" was a great song, innovative video and had amazing choreography that drunk idiots like me still attempt to imitate after a few Long Island Iced Teas. "Thriller" not winning was a fucking slight, not Taylor over Beyonce for Best Female Video.

I'd also like to point out at this moment that if I walked up on stage to protest on Beyonce's behalf, I would be beaten by police officers, throw in jail, called crazy and charged with child molestation.

"I'm sorry," said West, "but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time."

I'm sorry, but you're an idiot. An opinion can be back up with evidence, but cannot be proved by that evidence. You cannot prove that Single Ladies is one of the best videos of all time anymore than I cannot prove that "Rico Suave" is one of the best videos of all time. I'm glad you like Beyonce's video. She didn't win. Tough shit. You need to occupy your time better rather than getting bent out of shape over the MTV Awards. You should pick up a hobby. Maybe parasailing.

I also realize that me getting bent out of shape over Kanye getting bent out of shape is fairly ridiculous so don't bother pointing that out to me.

He followed the outburst with an obscene gesture at the audience, which MTV cut from the broadcast.

Just to emphasize his point about art I imagine.

The audience responded to West's outburst with a flurry of boos...

Thank you, city of New York.

A shaken Swift reportedly cried backstage.

Really Kanye, was this the right forum to voice your outrage? I am sure you have a blog and myspace. Write on there. Why take it out on a 15 year old girl?

Later in the evening, Knowles, while accepting her award for Video of the Year for her song "Single Ladies," asked Swift to take a mulligan and join her on stage.

Oh, so she won Video of the Year. Kanye must have felt like the biggest dick in the room when her name was announced.

"I'd like Taylor to come out and have her moment," Knowles said.

That was nice. I say that with sincerity. I thought it was a classy gesture.

West took to the blogosphere shortly after to try and quell the backlash.

Next time, use your blog first before your cantering about on stage during an acceptance speech.

"I'M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM," he wrote on his Web site.

WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING KANYE? OR DO YOU ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPS.

It's nice he apologized to her mom since I'm sure Taylor's dad thought Kanye's move was appropriate and justified.

West's remarks were roundly, loudly and quickly criticized, going so far as to get the presidential seal of disapproval, with President Obama calling the rapper "a jackass" in an off-the-record comment during a CNBC interview.

Did anyone think Kayne would be praised for his actions? Like who would come in support of his failed attempt to protect art?

Oh. Erik from The Phantom of the Opera.

Following Swift's appearance on "The View" to discuss the on-stage fiasco, West called Swift and delivered a personal apology, which Swift accepted.

I hope she writes a song about Kanye titled "Get off my stage you douchebag."

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